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Re: Wargame Mission Cutscene(Fan-made)

Posted: Mon 23 Nov 2015 17:50
by SpeisCheese
Lord Helmchen wrote:Nicely done, someone watched Guido Knopp's documentation. :mrgreen:
Some minor critics though.

Most've been mentioned above:

The text could be different, it's really too modern. Unfortunately I have no idea which sort could be used instead. :?

The grammar is a bit buggy but nothing too bad.

Some pictures don't fit the timeframe you put this. For example you're showing M1 Abrams tanks in 1977 when this is a 1980 tank.

One thing I realized was the language. Not that it was bad but IMO things like "The NVA's airforce is too weak to be used against NATO tanks". It sounds like it's written by a relatively young person not an author or Idk, I'd rather use some technical terms or something like "The NVA's army, weakend by months of fighting, cannot crush West-German defence lines. After reorganizing a US-led taskforce begins a counterattack near Fulda. In a desperate cry for help the Soviets intervene on behalf of the GDR - putting NATO in a situation of total numerical disadvantage." or something like this.
Or instead of "The FRG introduces a new tank called Leopard 2 which can be a real threat for the GDRs T-55s" I'd rather use something like "East Germanys outdated equipment can barely take care of NATO's latest weaponry" or so.

Other than that it's well done. :)

You are demanding something impossible for me, the person who gets the worst grades in language in class certainly can't write :lol: