Military humour

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REDDQ
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Military humour

Postby REDDQ » Mon 14 May 2012 21:33

Both jokes and pictures.
Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor

"Aim towards the enemy."
--Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force manual

"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
--Anon

"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
--USAF Ammo Troop

Some actually pretty much fit for MP games in W:EE.


China's military logistics...
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Last edited by REDDQ on Tue 19 May 2015 16:09, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Military humor

Postby D-M » Tue 15 May 2012 04:32

"The poorer the infantry, the more artillery it needs; the American infantry needs all it can get."

Koechlin-Schwartz
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Re: Military humor

Postby REDDQ » Tue 15 May 2012 22:05

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Major oivanekhrlstuScTmKCdpb... reporting for duty!


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Re: Military humor

Postby REDDQ » Tue 15 May 2012 23:30

That is very interesting...

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Re: Military humor

Postby Xeno426 » Thu 17 May 2012 23:31

Epic beard is epic!
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Don't know if this one particularly belong here, I just get a kick out of the image. :D
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CloakandDagger wrote:And you're one of the people with the shiny colored name. No wonder the game is in the state it's in.

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Re: Military humor

Postby REDDQ » Thu 17 May 2012 23:47

OMOH do not like recycling :D

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Re: Military humor

Postby Xeno426 » Fri 18 May 2012 00:09

I think they just don't like charity muggers.
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CloakandDagger wrote:And you're one of the people with the shiny colored name. No wonder the game is in the state it's in.

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Re: Military humor

Postby Felix » Fri 8 Jun 2012 22:32

Why do Albanian submarines resurface every 5 minutes? The rowers need to breathe. - Joke heard in the Romanian Military

If you miss all your shots during live ammo training, just report the target as being armored. -Allegedly said by instructors during tank crews' pistol practice in the Romanian military.

If you wanted better meals you should have joined the Canine unit. - Quote displayed when entering some Romanian military cantinas.

If your food has earthworms in it, you must have impressed someone during exercises. - Joke passed around in mess halls.

At the end of a proper day of training a military sock will pierce the door when thrown at it, glue itsef to the ceiling if tossed, crack if slammed against the floor, shatter glass if thrown through the window and dissolve if worn in the showers. - a more common spech given to new recruits.

Our eastern front is safe as long as there is still 1 meter of water standing between us and the russians. The only people mad enough to swim and attack us were the turks, and they believe in a daily ritual bath. -Prep talk given by an officer to the Romanian border guards.

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Re: Military humor

Postby ikalugin » Fri 8 Jun 2012 22:46

Felix wrote:Why do Albanian submarines resurface every 5 minutes? The rowers need to breathe. - Joke heard in the Romanian Military

If you miss all your shots during live ammo training, just report the target as being armored. -Allegedly said by instructors during tank crews' pistol practice in the Romanian military.

If you wanted better meals you should have joined the Canine unit. - Quote displayed when entering some Romanian military cantinas.

If your food has earthworms in it, you must have impressed someone during exercises. - Joke passed around in mess halls.

At the end of a proper day of training a military sock will pierce the door when thrown at it, glue itsef to the ceiling if tossed, crack if slammed against the floor, shatter glass if thrown through the window and dissolve if worn in the showers. - a more common spech given to new recruits.

Our eastern front is safe as long as there is still 1 meter of water standing between us and the russians. The only people mad enough to swim and attack us were the turks, and they believe in a daily ritual bath. -Prep talk given by an officer to the Romanian border guards.

Yea, in 1940s rivers protected you well :)
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Spoiler : :
We need more missilez code for the missilez god.
Praslovan:
"Tactical Ikalugin inbound on this position in 10... 9..."
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